I had a very busy day yesterday. My day started with going to my first appointment with my *new* Chiropractor. I am more confident than ever, that seeing this new member of my health care team (as I am now calling all the Doctors that I am seeing for all my health needs), that this is going to be a very good thing for me. I had my first *new patient* exam and X-rays yesterday morning. He has already told me that he has found some problems, but he must see the x-rays first. I go back on Thursday morning for my in depth meeting for the results, and then he will explain the *game plan* for what needs to be done to correct things. I am excited about this, and even my Arthritis Dr. was thrilled to hear about this *new* addition to my health care team. She says that I will definitely see some (even though probably only mild...in her opinion) improvements in some areas. Even a small improvement here and there is going to be such a blessing for me right now.
I also met with my Arthritis Doctor yesterday. Well....things are *not* going so well right now with my Severe Rheumatoid Arthritis. I have been receiving monthly infusion treatments for over a year now. I have had many ups and downs with the medication *Orencia* (that is the medication I *was* getting in my infusion treatment). It took many months for the medication to fully *saturate* my system. Some months I saw mild improvements, some months I had really good improvements, yet since June it is now obviously clear (to them) as I have been telling them, that my infusion just is not working. All of my levels (basically all the markers in my blood stream that they use to monitor the inflammation, damage, etc) have been steadily rising faster and faster since June. I take a lot of oral medication several times a day...everyday...here at home. These oral meds were/are/and always will be for ever more, a daily part of my treatment for my severe R.A., just like the infusion, yet since it is obvious, even after the last 4 to 5 months of increasing my infusion of Orencia to the *maximum* allowable dosage, it just *is not working*, and *never will*. The inflammation and joint damage are getting much, much worse, as is the extreme pain. The funny part about all this bad news yesterday......I am not now, nor was I at all yesterday, even the least bit worried about it now. I am ever more confident of my sweet Lords abilities to care for me in what so ever state I am in. I am not now...nor will I give up in my fight to push forward....keep going....keep moving....keep trying.... keep doing everything and anything that my body is able to do...while it is able to still do it. My R.A. doctor, is going to try and get another treatment (medication for my infusions) approved with my medical insurance. There is a great possibility that they will deny me for this other medication. Although *Orencia* is the new kid on the block (medically speaking that is), it is said to be the next wonder drug for *most* R.A. patients. Although as it now appears, not for me that is. The other medication is much...much...much more expensive than is the Orencia. Example for the maximum dosage of Orencia (like I had last month) the monthly cost for my infusion medication was/is $7500.00. I have been so blessed by God, because my insurance has paid every single dime of this. I have had to pay *NOTHING*. But, now, we are not sure if my insurance will even approve me to receive the *other* medication for my infusion treatments. IF.....it turns out that it will not be approved....then I am done. I will have to stop getting my infusion treatments permanently. For me, this will mean that I will be getting much worse, oh so horribly fast. My future of being wheel chair bound, and all the other problems that would face me would happen much faster she said. Hubby and I truthfully, financially without serious help from our health insurance just can not afford the expensive medications. But you know, it's like I told my doctor yesterday (after she asked me several times "how do you feel about all this, and the possibilities of getting worse and possibly no more infusion treatments?"), I sat there for a second, before answering her, searching inside myself and thinking, only to still know deep inside, that I have such a peace about the whole thing. My Sweet, Loving, God has so wonderfully, placed *His peace* deep inside me. "How do I feel?"....fine, and confident that God has...is....and always will take care of me...no matter what! How do I feel about all the *possible* bad news....fine, and confident that God has...is...and always will take care of me...no matter what! I truly have no worry in me about "what might be?" I will just keep pushing ever forward, making changes as needed, keep trying, keep going, keep doing, keep being stubborn, keep being *independent*, keep being positive as much as I can, keep saying "I am Peachy Keen". This is so deeply embedded in my mind, heart, soul, etc...that I know I AM and I WILL BE "Peachy Keen" no matter what!
I do not say all this, to give anyone the impression that I am some kind of faith filled giant. It's quite the opposite from time to time, as it is in everyone. I do worry once in a while, and I do have some doubts and fears about my future. But what I do have much more of is *trust in Jesus Christ*, confidence in *God's perfect will and plan for me and my life*, and an *ever increasing* well of faith, that does grow larger and larger, day by day, in my heart, spirit, and soul. I do have days where I do complain about pain, discomfort, or whatever is the problem at the moment, and I do have days where trying to be positive and *peachy keen* are honestly kinda difficult, but I keep trying to be positive and peachy. Yet what I do honestly have more of *is* a fairly positive attitude, and the fact that I am *learning* how to make the necessary changes in my life when they are needed.
I do have to say that over the last 24 years, since I got saved, and have been learning how to trust in, and lean on Jesus Christ, and that I have come to depend on these scriptures.
James 1: 2-4 have been, and still are my favorite scriptures. I have read them over and over, and repeated them in prayer over and over, through the years. I had many years ago actually sat down with a "Strong's concordance" and studied these scriptures so that I could truly understand what God is saying. Below is what God gave me, and it has carried me through many trials and difficulties, and God has used this to make stronger, my optimistic and "peachy keen" way of thinking. I even had some one once (not to very long ago) say to me..."you mean you actually count it all joy that you have Rheumatoid Arthritis?" Well not exactly that, but the circumstances surrounding it all, and how I handle and react to it/them, and there in lies my "counting it all joy". Things could *always* be or get worse, and there so many in this world who are much worse than I. God showed it to me this way.....
Jam 1:2 My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations;
according to Strong's concordance,
"fall" =
so to fall into as to be encompassed
"into divers" =
1) a various colours, variegated
2) of various sorts
"temptations “=
an experiment, attempt, trial, proving.
adversity, affliction, trouble: sent by God and serving to test or
prove one's character, faith, holiness
Jam 1:3 Knowing [this], that the trying of your faith worketh patience.
according to Strong's concordance,
"trying" =
1) the proving
2) that by which something is tried or proved, a test
"faith" =
1) conviction of the truth of anything, belief; in the NT of a conviction or belief respecting man's relationship to God and divine things, generally with the included idea of trust and holy fervour born of faith and joined with it
a) relating to God
"worketh" =
1) to perform, accomplish, achieve
"patience" =
1) steadfastness, constancy, endurance
a) in the NT the characteristic of a man who is not swerved from his deliberate purpose and his loyalty to faith and piety by even the greatest trials and sufferings
b) patiently, and steadfastly
2) a patient, steadfast waiting for
3) a patient enduring, sustaining, perseverance
Jam 1:4 But let patience have [her] perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing.
according to Strong's concordance
patience =
1) steadfastness, constancy, endurance
a) in the NT the characteristic of a man who is not swerved from his deliberate purpose and his loyalty to faith and piety by even the greatest trials and sufferings
b) patiently, and steadfastly
2) a patient, steadfast waiting for
3) a patient enduring, sustaining, perseverance
Meaning that…
I may be encompassed in various trials, adversities, or afflictions, that are sent (or allowed) by God to test and/or prove my character, and faith in Jesus Christ and God the Father.
And that the proving of my faith and conviction, in relation to God and His Son, Jesus Christ, will accomplish or achieve steadfastness, endurance (or patient endurance), and perseverance by even the greatest trials and sufferings. I need to be, and or, find JOY and the Blessings in all things, and situations, and to count all these things as Joy. God is doing a work in me, through me, for me, for His Glory, whether I ever see it or know it , or not.
I (as my Preacher says) "live in a sack of flesh", which *will* make it difficult for me at times, but I must keep pushing ever forward, in faith, trust, joy, love, patience, perseverance, and in God.
This might not make sense to anyone but me, and/or I might have understood it all wrong, but... I don't think so. This is why, with all my doctor said and told me yesterday, and in truth and reality of my health, and independence (or the soon lack there of), and whether or not I am able to continue to receive infusions or not, (and *I am* praying and believing that God still has provisions lined up for me through my insurance company to continue with my infusions), this is all a part of why I am not upset, worried, or even concerned about the whole thing. God has known all about it, so why should I worry. I will continue to trust in Jesus Christ, God the Father, and *His* will for my life, and then..."I will keep pushing ever forward", no matter what. God has always been at my side. So why get upset. :)
Have A Peachy Keen Day.Pin It
